As summer hits the Northwest, wedding and party season is revving up. You will receive invitations from your friends, family and professional acquaintances asking you to be part of their special events.
At the bottom of the invitation, there will be an R.S.V.P. with a phone number or enclosed card that is stamped ready to drop into the mail.
Even though R.S.V.P. stands for répondez s’il vous plaît (respond if you please), it shows you have good manners when you respond. People who do not take a minute to send back a card or call the number listed at the bottom of an invitation have never rented a site or put on a party or wedding where food was served. If they had, they would have compassion for the hosts who are using their hard-earned money to give their friends a fun time and full bellies.
When I retired from teaching last June, my husband asked me what he could do to commemorate my departure. I said I wanted a dinner nearby (Olympia) on a dock overlooking Puget Sound. The owner of the marina said the space fit 100 people comfortably; she could grill salmon and ribs, steam clams and present assorted salads. Scrumptious desserts and coffees would finish the meal.
I culled through my address book selecting names of colleagues and friends. It was difficult, as there were so many people who had been part of my career. I also had to choose 20 teenagers out of the 8,000 I had taught to share the night with me.
I figured that if I invited 120 people, about 90 to 100 would attend. However, I was sure I would not have to guess because my friends would let me know their intentions.
The night of the party 60 people came, though there was dinner for 100. Out of those 60, 30 had taken the time to R.S.V.P. and 30 just showed up. Forty people never responded; five couples came with a spouse missing. My husband paid almost twice what was needed, and the space was decorated and set up for 100.
The dock seemed empty, and I felt sad that I had left out so many students and friends I wanted to invite.
Though I enjoyed myself somewhat, the party never did “take off” and my husband paid for meals that were not eaten.
As you enjoy the summer wedding and party season, have compassion for your hosts. Sites cost a lot to rent, and a dinner for one guest typically costs between $25 and $125. That’s a lot of money to waste per person because an invited guest could not pick up a phone, send back a stamped envelope or email a quick note.
Be courteous to your friends, family and acquaintances. Thank them for inviting you to their special occasion, and let them know your intentions no later than the date requested on the invitation.
There is no reason to be embarrassed if you do not plan to attend. Your hosts will appreciate your clear and timely response. Show off your good manners. Répondez s’il vous plaît .